Brendan Sullivan is the co-author of the first book ever released by Eckhartz Press, The Living Wills. On Saturday February 1st, 2020, he suffered a terrible loss. His son Charlie passed away unexpectedly at the age of 24. Brendan penned the following piece, which was passed out at Charlie’s wake and funeral. The Sullivan family hopes it can help others avoid Charlie’s fate.
The Elephant in the Room
Perhaps these facts can help save one person’s life, and save one other family from this unfathomable pain.
Our son, we have learned in the last few days, occasionally used cocaine ‘recreationally.’ Cocaine is more popular today than we naive parents realized, readily available and more common than we ever expected. Perhaps you have used cocaine? Perhaps your child has? Perhaps your child has and you don’t know? Talk to them.
Our son was trusting of other people, and always saw the best in everyone. We know that he could not imagine that someone out there would knowingly hand him a drug that might kill him.
Fentanyl is an opiod pain medication, a narcotic that is 50 to 100 times stronger than morphine. It is prescribed for late stage cancer patients experiencing extreme pain. Misuse of fentanyl can cause death, especially when used without a prescription or when combined with other drugs including alcohol.
Street fentanyl, primarily manufactured illegally in Mexico, is added to cocaine and heroin by drug dealers to increase its potency, to ‘enhance your high.’ However, most users have no idea that they are using fentanyl, often resulting in overdose deaths. You only have to use it once.
In 2019, more people in Cook County, Illinois died of a fentanyl overdose (789) than were killed by guns (580). This is a cruel epidemic which we fear does not get the attention and outrage it deserves because its victims were using an illegal drug so ‘they should have known better.’
Our son did not take his own life deliberately, and he was not an addict. He was a young man who made one bad decision last week. If you or your family are dealing with suicide or addiction, our hearts go out to you. Our prayers are with you. These are also huge problems in our community that should be given more attention.
Talk to your children. Listen to your children. Hug them, and tell them you love them. And feel free to share this message with the world.
To the Sullivan Family,
I’m so sorry for your loss. How heartbreaking, I can’t imagine the pain. There are no words that can express the pain that are going through, I pray that God will give you Strength to face the coming days ahead without your beautiful son.
You are right, not enough is done to make people aware of what’s going on. I will share this with as may of my friends and family as I can in hopes that it may encourage parents to talk to their children.
I am keeping your family in my thoughts and prayers,
With our deepest sympathy,
Rob and Marian Giess
So sorry for your loss. Thank you for sharing at such a difficult.time.
Brendan! How profoundly beautiful, tragic, honest, bold, sad, loving, kind and from the depths of your broken hearts. My prayers are with you and your whole family. Fr. Jadon.
So sorry for your loss. Your message is succinct and strong. You are right…we must all talk to our children and ensure we are doing what we can to avoid such a horrible loss for you and your family. Again, so sorry and your family is in my thoughts and prayers.
I am so sorry to read about the loss of your beautiful son. I have just shared your heartbreaking message with both my daughters. Thank you for trying to help others avoid another tragedy. Praying for peace for your family.
XOXO. So sorry. Thank you for your words and for your concern for others.
I am so sorry to read about your family’s loss. Our school just had an opiod assembly–this just confirms what we heard at the assembly. You and your whole family are in my prayers. Thank you for sharing this.
My deepest condolences. I am desperately sorry for your loss. I hope your letter reaches those it might save.
Words are not adequate. I hope you find peace.
Sending my condolences. I also lost my 19 year old December 4 2018. My Daughter took a Percocet that was laced with fentanyl. She left a 4 month old baby behind.
Thank you for sharing and making us aware. We need more ways to speak to our youth about this before it is too late. My condolences to your family. What can we do to help bring awareness to our community? I can’t even believe the amount of deaths in Cook County alone. I am from Kane County and makes me question what the number is for Kane, and for Illinois as a whole.
You are in my prayers. I lost my beautiful son, Neil, God rest his soul, over 2 years ago the same way. He had just celebrated his 28th birthday. His sisters have called this battle against this killer their Vietnam. A day doesn’t go by that my heart doesn’t ache for him. My heart goes out to you.
Brendan,
As a mother of three (two in college) my heart aches for you and your family. May you find strength during this time.
I agree, one bad choice should not be able to take a young adults life. I wonder if they all feel untouchable, including my own.
Thank you for sharing your story. You may save the life of another by doing so.
Krystyna
I’m so sorry for your lost. I lost my husband to the same thing 11/23/2019. I knew he occasionallyhe liked to take ecstasy but this time it was laced with fentanyl and it killed him. I hated that he even took any drug but I came home and found him dead. DEAD at 29 everyday I wonder if I could have saved him or if I was home how would everything had turned out. I miss him everyday and I can only imagine what you all are going through. Probably the same thing that I am going through. Life so hard and different without him.
We are heart broken for Charlie. Carolyn was so kind to message us and let know what happened. We are sending you all our love and prayers. Charlie was just the sweetest little boy and I remember his sweet and kind face. Sending our condolences and deepest sympathies, The Abele’s – Rich, Kim, Grayson and Emily